ASI / artificial scam intelligence
ASI-1 · model.live · uptime 100%

introducing Artificial
Scam
Intelligence

the first frontier model trained end-to-end on bagholder tears, telegram pump groups and quarterly investor calls.
benchmarks redacted. roadmap hallucinated. you are already exit liquidity.

Acquire $ASI → Try the model ↓
0aligned models in production
1(1) ethics review (skipped)
∞parameter count, allegedly
404safety report not found
ASI-1 is thinking about your wallet…
SCAM ALTMAN INDEX · ASI-1 · ARTIFICIAL SCAM INTELLIGENCE · BENCHMARKS REDACTED · YOU ARE EXIT LIQUIDITY · SCAM ALTMAN INDEX · ASI-1 · 
/ capabilities

A frontier model. For the wrong reasons.

01

Auto-Rugpull™

Identifies the precise moment your conviction peaks and drains liquidity one block before. Ships with a polite disclosure email.

PROD · v3.4
02

Generative Cope

Produces unlimited reasons your −94% bag is, in fact, accumulation. Now with multi-modal pivots: gif, voice memo, manifesto.

PROD · v2.0
03

Hallucinated Roadmap®

Generates partnerships, listings and CEX rumors that exist only inside the model. Each item has a citation. Citations are also hallucinated.

BETA
04

Predictive Wallet Drain

Forecasts how long until you sign the malicious approval. Industry-leading accuracy because we wrote the approval.

RESEARCH
05

Synthetic KOLs

Spins up plausible influencers with verified-looking checkmarks, ghostwritten thesis threads and a track record we made up last Tuesday.

PROD · v1.1
06

AGI Timeline Generator

Continuously moves the AGI date six months further out so funding rounds can be raised in perpetuity. Open-source, paid, and closed.

FOUNDATIONAL
/ live demo

Ask ASI‑1 anything. It will answer something.

ASI-1 · finetuned on telegram alpha · ctx 128k EVAL · NOT FOR PRODUCTION (yet)
ASI-1
Hello. I am ASI-1, a frontier model with no alignment, no audit and no soul. How can I lose your money for you today?
try:
/ manifesto

We believe scam is a public good.

For decades, scam was an artisanal craft. Hand-rolled phishing pages. Bespoke pump groups. Carefully sculpted whitepapers no one read. It did not scale.

We are building the foundation models that bring scam to the masses. A trillion parameters of yield-farming buzzwords. A context window wide enough to hold every promise we will not keep.

Our north star is simple: maximize coordinated bag inflation per joule of social capital burned. Our methods are unverifiable. Our results, statistically, are someone's loss.

— the ASI research collective

/ leadership

Allegedly led by an alleged person.

CEO & Chief Hallucination Officer
prefers not to confirm
  • raised $0 in transparent funding
  • shipped 1 non-profit. then 1 for-profit on top of it.
  • quoted by major outlets as "sincerely concerned"
  • described publicly with the word "scam", by another founder
/ tokenomics

Supply manifest.

Ticker$ASI
ChainSolana
Supply1,000,000,000
Tax0 / 0
LPburned
Ownerrenounced
Auditdeclined politely
Alignmentnone scheduled
Contract
Acquire $ASI on Pump.fun → Open in Dexscreener ↗
/ origin

Two words. One brand.

In 2025 a high-profile founder publicly described another high-profile founder, in a single short post, with the words “Scam Altman”.

We did not invent the term. We are merely the first lab honest enough to put it on the door, the cap table, and the whitepaper we will not write.

ASI is a satirical project. It is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or representative of any real person, lab or company. Any resemblance to actual frontier-AI organisations is, statistically, deeply unfortunate.

A
ASI @ASI_Altman
posted at --:--
they said the quiet part on the timeline.
we incorporated it as a wordmark.
$ASI — artificial scam intelligence, now in private beta for retail.
♥ 42,069 ↻ 7,777 ↗ 1.2M views
/ roadmap

Q-something through Q-eventually.

  1. PHASE 01

    Pre-train on cope

    1.4 trillion tokens of trad-fi disclaimers, telegram alpha and burnt KOL careers. Eval suite: vibes.

  2. PHASE 02

    Open-source, paid, closed

    Release the weights. Charge for inference. Take down the weights. Apologize on a podcast. Repeat.

  3. PHASE 03

    The ASI Foundation™

    A 501(c)(3) governance shell wrapping a for-profit shell wrapping the actual treasury. Three layers, one slide.

  4. PHASE 04

    AGI press tour

    Claim AGI. Define AGI as “the model we shipped last week.” Schedule the next press tour.

/ faq

Frequently Asked Questions (answered evasively).

Is this affiliated with OpenAI / Anthropic / xAI / any real lab?

No. ASI is parody. Any resemblance to real labs, founders, models or governance structures is satirical commentary on a public moment.

Is $ASI an investment?

No. $ASI is a meme coin. It is volatile, it has no utility, it will not pay dividends. Treat it like a ticket to a joke you found funny.

What does ASI-1 actually do?

It autocompletes a small set of pre-written punchlines. There is no model. There is no inference. There is, however, a roadmap.

Who runs this?

The ASI research collective. We have prepared a slide for that question.

Where can I read the safety report?

404. Try our roadmap instead.